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niemeyjt
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#1191 Post by niemeyjt »

Someone stopped me in the street today and asked me why I was carrying a 9ft book under my arm.

I replied “Well, it’s a long story“

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Bayleaf
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#1192 Post by Bayleaf »

Straight out of njt's joke book! :lol:
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niemeyjt
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#1193 Post by niemeyjt »

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#1194 Post by niemeyjt »

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#1195 Post by niemeyjt »

One for us oldies . . .
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#1196 Post by niemeyjt »

I've ordered a new garden gate, but B&Q are unable to tell me when it will be delivered.

Apparently, it hinges on the post.

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#1197 Post by niemeyjt »

Disney is producing a new film about a transvestite whale.

It's called Maybe Dick.

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#1198 Post by niemeyjt »

The elders of a Native American Indian tribe go to their new Chief and ask if he can predict what the coming winter will be like so the tribe can be sure to collect enough firewood to see them through.

The new Chief was University educated and never brought up in the old ways, so he tells them he will give them his prediction the next day, and after they leave, he calls the National Weather Bureau and asks what the long-range forecast is.

The Bureau tells him that, based on previous data, it will be cold so he calls the elders and tells them to get the tribe to collect firewood.

After a week he thinks he'd better get an update and calls the Bureau again. "Looks like it's going to be colder than usual", says the man at the Bureau so the Chief tells the elders they'd better get the tribe collecting even more firewood.

After another week he calls the Bureau again for an update. "Looks like it's going to be really fierce this year", said the spokesman.

"How are you able to predict this so far ahead?" asks the Chief.

"Because the Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

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#1199 Post by niemeyjt »

Growing old - I knew I was getting balder because it was taking me longer and longer to wash my face.

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Bayleaf
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#1200 Post by Bayleaf »

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