Jokes

[niemeyjt]

My therapist told me that I would feel better if I finished some of the things that I started.

Half a bottle of whiskey, a third of a chocolate cake and the remains of a crate of beer later and, you know what, he is right.

[Bayleaf]

got sick.jpg

[DaveW]

The invention of golf - according to Robin Williams.



Bad language, be warned.

[niemeyjt]

A Yorkshire man with a bad case of hemorrhoids goes into a chemists.

"Nah then lad" he says to the pharmacist, "Does tha sell arse cream?".

Pharmacist replies "Aye lad, Magnum or Cornetto?"

[niemeyjt]

in similar vein:

[Bayleaf]

@DaveW Is that Robbin Williams doing an impersonation of Billy Connolly? Makes it even funnier! First belly laugh of the day, thank you!

[DaveW]

Looks like it. Take a look at some of his other videos that are clickable from the one I posted - hilarious stuff.

[niemeyjt]

I was walking down the street, and I found a 20 pound note on the ground.

My conscience made me ask "What would Jesus do"?

So I turned it into wine.

[niemeyjt]

My wife said: "That's the 4th time you've gone back for dessert - doesn't it embarrass you?"

I said: "No, I keep telling them it's for you."

[niemeyjt]

I fell off a fifty foot ladder today.

Luckily I survived - I was only on the first step.