Jokes
Grab a chair, kick off your shoes, chill and chat.-
niemeyjt
- Posts: 4920
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm
Jokes
One of the Russian Ambassadors went to President Putin and told him he'd like to resign.
"Why?" Putin asked him.
"Well, Mr. President, I can't take these time differences! I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, I last woke you up at 4 in the morning, but I thought it was only evening. I call Emanuel Macron to congratulate him on his birthday and he tells me he had it yesterday. I wish President Xi a Happy Chinese New Year and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Those are just minor inconveniences." Replies Putin. "Do you remember when that Polish plane crashed, killing their President? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!"
"Why?" Putin asked him.
"Well, Mr. President, I can't take these time differences! I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, I last woke you up at 4 in the morning, but I thought it was only evening. I call Emanuel Macron to congratulate him on his birthday and he tells me he had it yesterday. I wish President Xi a Happy Chinese New Year and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Those are just minor inconveniences." Replies Putin. "Do you remember when that Polish plane crashed, killing their President? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!"
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niemeyjt
- Posts: 4920
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm
Jokes
A politician was visiting a remote little rural town in France and asked the locals what the government could do for them.
"We have two big needs,” said the townspeople.
“First, we have a hospital but no doctor.”
The politician whipped out his iPhone, spoke for a while and then said, “I have sorted that out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?”
The townspeople replied, “We have no mobile phone reception in our town.”
"We have two big needs,” said the townspeople.
“First, we have a hospital but no doctor.”
The politician whipped out his iPhone, spoke for a while and then said, “I have sorted that out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?”
The townspeople replied, “We have no mobile phone reception in our town.”
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niemeyjt
- Posts: 4920
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm
Jokes
At Friday night services, Morris went to his friend Irving and said, "Irving, I need a favour - I'm sleeping with the rabbi's wife. Can you hold him in the temple for an hour after services for me?"
Irving was not very fond of the idea, but being Morris' lifelong friend, he reluctantly agreed.
After services, he struck up a conversation with the rabbi asking him all sorts of stupid questions in an effort to keep him occupied.
After some time, the wise rabbi became suspicious and asked, "Irving, what are you really up to with all this?"
Irving, filled with feelings of guilt and remorse, confessed to the rabbi "I'm sorry Rabbi, my friend Morris is sleeping with your wife right now and asked me to keep you occupied."
The rabbi smiled and, putting a brotherly hand on Irving 's shoulder, said "Irving I think you'd better hurry home, my wife died two years ago.
Irving was not very fond of the idea, but being Morris' lifelong friend, he reluctantly agreed.
After services, he struck up a conversation with the rabbi asking him all sorts of stupid questions in an effort to keep him occupied.
After some time, the wise rabbi became suspicious and asked, "Irving, what are you really up to with all this?"
Irving, filled with feelings of guilt and remorse, confessed to the rabbi "I'm sorry Rabbi, my friend Morris is sleeping with your wife right now and asked me to keep you occupied."
The rabbi smiled and, putting a brotherly hand on Irving 's shoulder, said "Irving I think you'd better hurry home, my wife died two years ago.
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L Austin France
- Posts: 2107
- Joined: Sat Sep 04, 2021 1:47 pm
- Location: sw 29