Jokes

[niemeyjt]

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[niemeyjt]

Last time I was in China there was a friendly receptionist at the hotel. She said she would give me a guided tour of the city so I asked for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She got excited and said: "sex sex sex wan free sex for tonigh"

Wow, I thought, I'm in there.

Then, my friend explained what she really said: 666136429

[Bayleaf]

gravy boat.jpg

[niemeyjt]

A new shop has just opened in the town - aimed at serving electricians and the highly intelligent.

Its called Sparks and Mensa.

[Quiksilver]

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Ahhh, bless! A bit outdated now unless she means pizza

[Niftyons]

Country Comparisons: What things are cheaper to buy in the United Kingdom than in the USA?
Brussell Sprouts 50p/$2.99
Potatoes 1 Pound/$3.99
Car Insurance for me 100 pounds / $600 / year in Atlanta
Sausages (6) 1 Pound / $2.99
Fish and Chips 5 Pounds / $8.99
Indian Meal for two 20 pounds / $50
Theatre ticket, Top show 75 pounds / $200+ on Broadway
Theatre ticket, regional rep: 15 Pounds / $35.00
Marmite UKP 2.50 / $4.99
French wine UKP 5.00 / $20
Great Cheese UKP 2.00 / $7.99
Water biscuits UKP 0.75 / $3.99
Mushrooms UKP 0.50 / $2.00
Healthcare UKP Free through taxes / $500/month Insurance
Cancer treatment UKP Free through taxes / $1 million
One week hospital stay UKP Free through taxes / $60,000 (Broken leg)
Dr Visit (no insurance) UKP Free through taxes / $250
Healthcare out of pocket maximum (insured) UKP - Free through taxes, $7500.00 annual until policy pays $1m, then no limit.
Air conditioning bill, UK - Not needed, $200/month
An ambulance ride, UK - Free through taxes. $600 - $700.
Premier League ticket: UKP 30–50. $200.00 Atlanta UTD.

[niemeyjt]

Mrs N asked me which of our female friends I'd fancy a threesome with.

Apparently I was not supposed to pick two.

[rabbit]

That joke would get you banned from working for the BBC. ( I thought it very good)

[ajm]

A diplomat on a visit to China asked his counterpart "When was your last election?" He replied " Jus befor blekfas"

[Char]