Jokes
Grab a chair, kick off your shoes, chill and chat.-
niemeyjt
- Posts: 4920
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm
Jokes
A lady was very impressed with her puppy's progress at training school and decided to put it to the test during a visit to the local supermarket.
She parked the car and wound down the window to give the puppy some fresh air.
As she walked away repeated in a stern voice: “Stay, stay!”
A woman watching from a nearby parked car called out: “Why don't you just apply the hand brake?"
She parked the car and wound down the window to give the puppy some fresh air.
As she walked away repeated in a stern voice: “Stay, stay!”
A woman watching from a nearby parked car called out: “Why don't you just apply the hand brake?"
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niemeyjt
- Posts: 4920
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm
Jokes
A bloke goes to the bar and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.
As the bartender gives him the drink he says: "I'm here to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."
The bartender says: "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the man finishes his drink, the man to his right says: "I would like to buy you a drink, too."
The old man says: "'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming up" says the bartender.
As he finishes that drink, the man to his left says: 'I would like to buy you one, too."
The old man says: 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming right up" the bartender says.
As he gives him the drink, he says, "Sir, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old man replies, "Sonny, when you've reached my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."
As the bartender gives him the drink he says: "I'm here to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."
The bartender says: "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the man finishes his drink, the man to his right says: "I would like to buy you a drink, too."
The old man says: "'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming up" says the bartender.
As he finishes that drink, the man to his left says: 'I would like to buy you one, too."
The old man says: 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming right up" the bartender says.
As he gives him the drink, he says, "Sir, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old man replies, "Sonny, when you've reached my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."
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niemeyjt
- Posts: 4920
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm
Jokes
I was in a coffee shop recently when my stomach started rumbling and feeling bloated and I realised that I desperately needed to pass wind, as one does.
The place was packed but the music was really loud so, to get relief and reduce embarrassment, I timed my noise of the farts to the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs I started to feel much better.
I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me.
Then I remembered that I was listening to my IPod.
This is what happens when senior citizens use technology!
The place was packed but the music was really loud so, to get relief and reduce embarrassment, I timed my noise of the farts to the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs I started to feel much better.
I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me.
Then I remembered that I was listening to my IPod.
This is what happens when senior citizens use technology!
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Biloute
- Posts: 313
- Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2021 8:41 pm
- Location: Vendée
Jokes
Three Belgians are sitting at a table in a pub.
The first one says to the others: "When I fart, it makes a lot of noise but it doesn't smell bad"
The second one then says "For me, it's the opposite: when I fart, it doesn't make any noise but it stinks really bad!"
Since the third one doesn't say anything, the others ask him: "Well, what about you?"
He ends up answering: "Neither one nor the other: it doesn't stink and it's silent"
And the other two ask him: "Well then, what's the point of you farting?"
The first one says to the others: "When I fart, it makes a lot of noise but it doesn't smell bad"
The second one then says "For me, it's the opposite: when I fart, it doesn't make any noise but it stinks really bad!"
Since the third one doesn't say anything, the others ask him: "Well, what about you?"
He ends up answering: "Neither one nor the other: it doesn't stink and it's silent"
And the other two ask him: "Well then, what's the point of you farting?"
Demain est le premier des jours qu'il nous reste à vivre: profitons-en ! 
