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:speech_balloon: Grab a chair, kick off your shoes, chill and chat.
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niemeyjt
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Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm

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#661 Post by niemeyjt »

They say mirrors never lie - just be grateful they don't laugh.

niemeyjt
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Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm

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#662 Post by niemeyjt »

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Bayleaf
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Location: NE Dordogne

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#663 Post by Bayleaf »

niemeyjt wrote: Fri Apr 22, 2022 8:32 pm They say mirrors never lie - just be grateful they don't laugh.
One of my clients has a very ornate mirror in their downstairs loo - it reminded me so much of the Magic Mirror in Snow White, I once said to it that famous line "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all". I can't be sure, but I think the response was "Not you, you silly b*tch - get out!" :lol:

niemeyjt
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#664 Post by niemeyjt »

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niemeyjt
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#665 Post by niemeyjt »

Today is St George's Day - and also the birthday of my son George as well - named in his honour.

I was chatting to some friends and family about this and it was an amazing coincidence - one said his son was born on St David's Day and was called David and another said his son Andrew was born on St Andrew's Day.

Finally, my brother-in-law chimed in - that was also how his son Pancake got his name.

niemeyjt
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#666 Post by niemeyjt »

Mrs N complained that I never buy her flowers. I did not even realise she sold them.

niemeyjt
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#667 Post by niemeyjt »

Elon Musk has just paid $44 billion for Twitter.

What an idiot - I downloaded it from the App Store for free!

curtis
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Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2021 1:36 pm
Location: Charente Maritime

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#668 Post by curtis »

Dans une petite ville, un monsieur qui ne paie pas de mine, se présente à une pharmacie et demande du VIAGRA.

La pharmacienne lui en délivre une boîte.

Le client sort sans payer, en disant :

- Le temps d'aller faire une course à la boucherie en face, de faire de la monnaie et je viens vous régler. D'accord ?

- Allez, d'accord !

La pharmacienne regarde par la vitrine, histoire de surveiller son gars.

Celui-ci entre à la boucherie.

-Mettez-moi deux entrecôtes s'il vous plaît. Je vais à la boulangerie faire de la monnaie et je repasse vous payer. D'accord ?

Il emporte sa viande, s'en va à la boulangerie.

- Bonjour, je voudrais deux baguettes. Je fais un saut à l'épicerie et je reviens vous payer. D'accord ?

Même manège à l'épicerie, il sort, se précipite dans sa voiture et s'en va.

Entre alors à la pharmacie un autre client qui demande :

- Je voudrais du VIAGRA mais, à votre avis, est-ce que ça marche vraiment ?

- Écoutez, dit ironiquement la pharmacienne, c'est garanti :

Je viens d'en donner à un client et, en moins de cinq minutes, il a baisé la bouchère, la boulangère, l'épicière et moi !

niemeyjt
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#669 Post by niemeyjt »

For you cat lovers, I am sure you recognise this:


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niemeyjt
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#670 Post by niemeyjt »

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