Jokes

[L Austin France]

Shepherd counted his flock & was missing a few sheep so he sent out his best dog see how many there were.
Dog came back a while later & told shepherd there were 190 sheep.
Shepherd said " that's weird 'cos I only have 186"
Dog replied "yes but I rounded them up".

[Quiksilver]

the sting.jpg

[niemeyjt]

andy7.jpeg

[niemeyjt]

I have got a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I'm sexy".

Then I just stop at a green traffic light until I feel better about myself.

[Nomoss]

Two cats watching a match on the Centre Court -

One turns to the other and says "My old man's in that racket"

[niemeyjt]

GPs have threatened industrial action over having to work evenings and weekends.

If that happens, I shall join the picket lines so I can finally get to see my GP face to face.

[Bayleaf]

Apparently, only the Irish will get this joke!

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[Lori]

[niemeyjt]

For those having difficulty getting to sleep in the heat - sleep right on the edge of the bed - you'll soon drop off.

[rabbit]

Berkmann's Idiotic responses heard on quiz shows, I loved his story of the woman who, when asked for the composer of Messiah, said: “Oh, it’s the man who wrote Handel’s Water Music. Is it Chopin?”
The other contestant went for Beethoven. However, with a nod to the person who thought the phrase “Beauty is in the eye of the . . .” ended with “tiger”, Berkmann’s favourite answer came from The Weakest Link, when someone said that Frank Bough painted the Mona Lisa. He eventually worked out they must have intended to say Van Gogh.