Grab a chair, kick off your shoes, chill and chat.To get back on topic . . .
Jokes
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Bayleaf
- Posts: 3383
- Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2021 7:22 am
- Location: NE Dordogne
Jokes
Mary and Ted got married and had 13 children. Then Ted died of heart disease.
She married again and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
Again Mary remarried and this time she & John had 5 more children.
Mary finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they are finally together."
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, "Margaret, do you think he means her 1st, 2nd, or 3rd husband?"
Margaret replied, "I think he means her legs, Ethel."
She married again and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
Again Mary remarried and this time she & John had 5 more children.
Mary finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they are finally together."
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, "Margaret, do you think he means her 1st, 2nd, or 3rd husband?"
Margaret replied, "I think he means her legs, Ethel."
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Quiksilver
- Posts: 1039
- Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2021 9:18 pm
- Location: 47
Jokes
Vegans need to lay off others for their eating habits.
The last thing we need is another Spinach Inquisition!
The last thing we need is another Spinach Inquisition!
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niemeyjt
- Posts: 4920
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm
Jokes
A wealthy politician released her annual tax returns for the public to view, according to custom.
The politician had a neighbour who was in charge of a charity that was struggling for funds. After seeing the politician’s tax returns, he saw a golden opportunity, and immediately went over and knocked on the politician’s door.
“All right, I can see from your tax returns that you make m £500,000 a year, but you’re not giving any money to charity!” he told her. “Now, I happen to run a very credible charity, and…oh look! I live right next door. Tell you what: you write me a cheque for £1,000 right now to help my charity, and then I promise I’ll leave you alone.”
The politician gasped, very offended. “You think I have money just sitting around to give to charity?” she said. “Were you aware that last year, my father lost his house in a fire, and everything he owned along with it?”
“Um, I didn’t,” said her neighbour.
“And did you also know that my daughter got into a horrible car accident last year, lost her job and has ongoing medical bills?” she went on.
“Er…no, I’m sorry…”
“And that my sister had her husband walk out on her, leaving her penniless with three children to bring up?”
Her neighbour, now very embarrassed, said, “Oh, my! I apologize. I had no idea what was going on with your family members!”
And the politician continued: “And so if I didn’t give any money to them, why would I give any to you?”
The politician had a neighbour who was in charge of a charity that was struggling for funds. After seeing the politician’s tax returns, he saw a golden opportunity, and immediately went over and knocked on the politician’s door.
“All right, I can see from your tax returns that you make m £500,000 a year, but you’re not giving any money to charity!” he told her. “Now, I happen to run a very credible charity, and…oh look! I live right next door. Tell you what: you write me a cheque for £1,000 right now to help my charity, and then I promise I’ll leave you alone.”
The politician gasped, very offended. “You think I have money just sitting around to give to charity?” she said. “Were you aware that last year, my father lost his house in a fire, and everything he owned along with it?”
“Um, I didn’t,” said her neighbour.
“And did you also know that my daughter got into a horrible car accident last year, lost her job and has ongoing medical bills?” she went on.
“Er…no, I’m sorry…”
“And that my sister had her husband walk out on her, leaving her penniless with three children to bring up?”
Her neighbour, now very embarrassed, said, “Oh, my! I apologize. I had no idea what was going on with your family members!”
And the politician continued: “And so if I didn’t give any money to them, why would I give any to you?”