Jokes

[RobertArthur]

The Bayeux tapestry, 11th century, world famous, how to prepare an invasion. Where logistics and communications are important. And where simple things can go wrong. Finally discovered, a missing episode.

[niemeyjt]

“God, how long is a million years?”​

“To me, it’s about a minute.”

“God, how much is a million pounds?”

“To me, it’s a penny.”

“God, may I have a penny?”

“Wait a minute.”

[Bayleaf]

Topical - Matt strikes again!

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[niemeyjt]

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[niemeyjt]

Seems he's gone - so who's next?

[Quiksilver]

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[Biloute]

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The Opinel penknife is steeped in history! So many things to say...
- it has never been copied: it was not worth it because the original is not expensive. Not like the very expensive (at least 5 times more) Laguiole that a lot of bad Asian copies are on sale for.
- according to a legend, the Opinel was created by 5 brothers, hence the logo with a crowned hand. And as brothers died, they folded their fingers over the logo. This legend has never been confirmed.
- at first the knife was very simple, only then the ferrule was added to block the unfolded blade.
- the first ones were all made of carbon steel, which caused the blades to darken with age. Then they made stainless steel blades that don't blacken. But purists claim carbon blades sharpen better.
- in order to expand sales, they created specialized knives: round-tipped for children, for gardeners, electricians, mushroom hunters, different woods and different shapes for the handles, with corkscrew, etc. ..
- I had my first at 6 years old. Given by my grandfather: he always had the same one and didn't lose it, even in the trenches during WWI. I still have it somewhere... I must have a dozen of them now for be sure to have one on hand wherever I am! My favorite is the No. 10 (10cm blade). Some, by dint of sharpening them, are no more than 9 cm...
- traditionally, in France, to be a man, a real one, you must have a knife in your pocket at all times. Not sure if it's legal but I've never been arrested by the police, even on a plane...

[niemeyjt]

Following on from my earlier comments of the Swiss eating dogs I went to a local restaurant last night.

The waiter said "For starters there's badger soup, followed by roast badger and finishing with badger mousse”

Is there anything else apart from badger?" I asked.

“No", he replied. "It's a sett menu."

[Bayleaf]

Where's the screaming emojii?!

An oldie popped into my brain cell t'other day - after seeing a clip about superheros on tv:

Superman is telling Spiderman about a recent trip around the world ....

"As I flew over a beautiful sandy beach, I could see Superwoman down there, laying naked in the sun. I thought - ooh, I'll just swoop in and launch myself on her, she'll be so surprised!"

Spiderman says, "I'll bet she was too!"

"Yes," replies Superman, "but not half as surprised as the invisible man was"!

How old is that joke?

[Quiksilver]

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The Opinel penknife is steeped in history! So many things to say...

And a true story....at a local village fête a couple of years ago the menu included entrecôte steak. Everyone accepts that it's usually faux filet. So...out came the 200 or so Opinels (Opinaux?? ). Houlala....they bounced off the meat Fond memories of watching everyone sawing away at something that would have made shoe leather seem juicy And total vindication of my campaign to try to convince the French that unmatured beef is disgusting