Jokes

[niemeyjt]

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.

When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

"Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother.

"I don't need to," Little Johnny replied.

"Of course, you do!" his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook.”

[Bayleaf]

Topical!

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[niemeyjt]

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[niemeyjt]

I was snuggling up romantically to Mrs N - St Valentine's Day and all that - enjoying a nice red.

She said, "I love you".

"Is that you or the wine talking?" I replied.

"It's me" she replied "talking to the wine."

[niemeyjt]

I cooked a Beef Wellington for dinner - but it turned out to be tough as old boots.

[Biggles]

I cooked a Beef Wellington for dinner - but it turned out to be tough as old boots.

Very apt - Wellington boots!

We had a shop bought pizza and the base was really thin and brittle - not nice at all.The best part was the ingenious 'facile fermeture', which was absolutely true to its word and an amazing piece of design.

[niemeyjt]

Don't get me onto pizza. Who thought that up?

Make a round food, deliver it in a square box then eat it as triangles.

[Bayleaf]

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[niemeyjt]

I bought a new pair of gloves today but they’re both “lefts”.

Which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

[Bayleaf]

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