Jokes

[exile]

I guess the missing caption says
"Ate you, beauty."

[niemeyjt]

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[niemeyjt]

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[Niftyons]

I think it’s probably a misinterpretation of the Telegraph report that nearly 50% of NHS staff don’t have medical qualifications,and people have been asking for a shake up

If they want a shake-up surely they need a cocktail waiter?

(Off topic - how many of us have a degree relevant to our work / are working in the same area as their degree subject? On the first day one of the Professors said over 90% of us would not be working in the subject five years after graduation and I am in that 90%).

Certainly not degreeless me who was told that I had to leave at 16 as a condition to entering Merchant Navy Officers' college, only to find out at a later school re-union that a friend had gone through to uni, got his degree in whatever it was, and then happened to wandering on the docks somewhere in the NE and became engaged in conversation with a passing sea captain who offered him a job on the spot as a cadet, which later developed into a career as a 2nd mate.

He didn't become a captain because he got married, his wife wanted him ashore, and he finally retired as a police inspector.

I felt so cheated, I could have had such fun at university.

Is it possible to contact Spardo via pm?

[Hotrodder]

If this is a joke can someone please explain it?

[Bayleaf]

Made me chuckle!

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[L Austin France]

A racing stable employs a jockey, and the trainer of one particular horse has some unusual instructions. "When you are 20 feet out from a jump you must say '3, 2, 1, Jump!' to this horse", says the trainer. The jockey thinks this is very stupid, and that he KNOWS how to ride horses, so he decides to ignore this advice. A few days later this horse and he are paired up for a steeplechase. As they approach the first jump the horse makes no attempt to jump, but ploughs straight through it, dropping them back down the field. The jockey doesn't believe it, but they carry on. The same thing happens at the second jump. 'This horse is really stupid', thinks the jockey, 'so I will see what happens when I try that instruction'. '3, 2, 1, Jump!' and the horse clears the jump beautifully. They make their way through the field, eventually coming in second. As they come into the unsaddling enclosure the owner of the horse asks the jockey why he didn't follow the instructions he had been given, as they would have won the race if he had. The jockey, not wanting to look a fool, said "I did, but the horse didn't hear me".
"Don't be such a bloody idiot", replies the owner, "the horse is blind, not deaf!".

[niemeyjt]

One for Robert . . .

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[Niftyons]

If this is a joke can someone please explain it?

It is a serious question.

[Nomoss]

Mistake.