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:speech_balloon: Grab a chair, kick off your shoes, chill and chat.
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ajm
Posts: 1215
Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2021 3:23 pm
Location: 49 Paradis

Jokes

#1311 Post by ajm »

I went to visit Djokovic at his flat and was amazed how dirty and dusty it was. When asked about it he said " why do you think I am called Novac?" :o

ajm
Posts: 1215
Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2021 3:23 pm
Location: 49 Paradis

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#1312 Post by ajm »

Un couple jouant au golf. Au trou 18 l'homme a un putt de 20 mètres. Il dit " si je fait cet putt je vais t'emmener dîner," Il met la balle dans le trou ! La fille a un putt de 15 metres. Elle dit " si je fait ça, après diner tu peux me baiser"
Il cri " DONNÉ"

niemeyjt
Posts: 4920
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm

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#1313 Post by niemeyjt »

A bloke's laying in bed reading when his wife walks into the bedroom wearing only her bra and panties.

She looks at him seductively and asks, 'Have you ever seen a crumpled €20 note?'

He shakes his head and she reaches into her bra and produces the note which she throws on the bed. Then she asks, 'Have you ever seen a crumpled €50 note?'

Again he shakes his head and she reaches into her panties and pulls one out and throws it on the bed.

'And have you ever seen a crumpled €30,000?' she asks.

His heart is pounding as he shakes his head.

'Well you'd better take a look in the garage,' she says.

Polarengineer
Posts: 805
Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2022 11:51 am
Location: 23 la Creuse

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#1314 Post by Polarengineer »

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Char
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Posts: 2948
Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2021 1:24 pm
Location: Creuse

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#1315 Post by Char »

:lol: :lol:

niemeyjt
Posts: 4920
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm

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#1316 Post by niemeyjt »

I asked J.K. Rowling about Harry's father.

She thinks it's James Hewitt as well.

A.N.Other
Posts: 323
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2021 7:02 pm

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#1317 Post by A.N.Other »

Feeling the pinch I sent the missus out on the street for the night.

She came back at first light with €21

What miserable git gave you one Euro I asked.

All of them she replied!

My turn on Friday :D

niemeyjt
Posts: 4920
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm

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#1318 Post by niemeyjt »

News from the local hospital:

A boy was admitted last night having swallowed a load of coins. Doctors report so far there is no change.

Meanwhile, a man was admitted with a dozen plastic horses inserted into his rectum. His condition is stable.

rabbit
Posts: 706
Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2021 5:38 pm
Location: 56 Morbihan

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#1319 Post by rabbit »

Doctor: and what seems to be the trouble?
Man: I have a cricket ball stuck in my rectum
Doctor: How’s that?
Man: Don’t you start

niemeyjt
Posts: 4920
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm

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#1320 Post by niemeyjt »

At Char's request - blame her if it's not funny :-)

My neighbour is dating a girl with gender dysphoria. She thinks she's a wheelie bin. He cannot remember whether he is taking her out on Tuesday or Wednesday. It will be a rubbish date.

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