Jokes

[niemeyjt]

My phone doesn't autocorrect when I type in CAPS - it assumes I am angry and doesn't want to get involved.

[Biloute]

One for Bayleaf, and other lefties . . .


screwdriver.jpg

You don't know how to recognize your right hand ?
An easy test:
- place both hands flat on the table in front of you, palms down
- the right hand is the one with the thumb on the left !
- simple, right ?

[niemeyjt]

You don't know how to recognize your right hand ?
An easy test:
- place both hands flat on the table in front of you, palms down
- the right hand is the one with the thumb on the left !
- simple, right ?

Very timely - sadly there are many in politics who don't know their right hand from their left.

[Niftyons]

[niemeyjt]

The next door farmer was telling me about all his experimental crossings of different strains to maximise meat production. He claimed to have reared a 12Kg male chicken and a 2 ton male cow.

I think it was just a cock and bull story.

[niemeyjt]

(a pre Evri joke)

A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, Doctor, I think I have Hermes"

Doctor replies - "I think you mean Herpes"

The man replies " No, no, Doctor. You see, I think I 'm a carrier"!

[niemeyjt]

A man saw a boy leading leading a bull up a country lane and said "What you doing with that bull, sonny?"

The boy said "I'm taking him to service farmer Smith's cows"

The man asked "Can't your dad do that?"

The boy replied "No, it has to be a bull."

[ajm]

The mayor of our village has stopped the church clock from chiming. He's hoping to be awarded a Nobel Prize.

[DaveW]

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[Quiksilver]

When I see lovers' names carved into a tree, I don't think 'How romantic'.
I just think it's surprising how many people take a knife on a date.