Grab a chair, kick off your shoes, chill and chat.At his wedding, my mate called me the worst best man he has ever encountered.
I was speechless.
Jokes
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niemeyjt
- Posts: 4920
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm
Jokes
A shy priest greets the congregation at the door to the church. He’s very nervous and doesn’t say much.
The service starts and the priest gets into full flow, with a tub-thumping sermon full of fire and brimstone.
Then at the end of the service the priest is extremely shy and barely says a word to anyone as they leave the church.
One of the congregation asks him “Why are you so shy now? You seemed like a different person when you were giving that sermon.”
“I know.” says the priest, “But that was just my altar ego”.
The service starts and the priest gets into full flow, with a tub-thumping sermon full of fire and brimstone.
Then at the end of the service the priest is extremely shy and barely says a word to anyone as they leave the church.
One of the congregation asks him “Why are you so shy now? You seemed like a different person when you were giving that sermon.”
“I know.” says the priest, “But that was just my altar ego”.
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niemeyjt
- Posts: 4920
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm
Jokes
U&Dave's Funniest Jokes of the Fringe 2024
I was going to sail around the globe in the world's smallest ship but I bottled it – Mark Simmons
I've been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don't feel like I'm progressing. It's just one step forward... two steps back – Alec Snook
I ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn't great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful – Alex Kitson
I sailed through my driving test. That's why I failed it – Arthur Smith
I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it – Mark Simmons
My dad used to say to me "Pints, gallons, litres", which, I think, speaks volumes – Olaf Falafel
British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in 'Spoons? – Chelsea Birkby
I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I've cracked it – Masai Graham
My partner told me that she'd never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had – Zoe Coombs Marr
The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati – Olaf Falafel
I'm an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person: my pronouns are 'there, there' – Sarah Keyworth
I've got a girlfriend who never stops whining. I wish I'd never bought her that vineyard – Roger Swift
Gay people are very bad at maths. We don't naturally multiply – Lou Wall
Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher – Sophie Duker
Growing up rich is a hereditary condition. It affects 1 per cent of people – Olga Koch.
I was going to sail around the globe in the world's smallest ship but I bottled it – Mark Simmons
I've been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don't feel like I'm progressing. It's just one step forward... two steps back – Alec Snook
I ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn't great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful – Alex Kitson
I sailed through my driving test. That's why I failed it – Arthur Smith
I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it – Mark Simmons
My dad used to say to me "Pints, gallons, litres", which, I think, speaks volumes – Olaf Falafel
British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in 'Spoons? – Chelsea Birkby
I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I've cracked it – Masai Graham
My partner told me that she'd never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had – Zoe Coombs Marr
The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati – Olaf Falafel
I'm an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person: my pronouns are 'there, there' – Sarah Keyworth
I've got a girlfriend who never stops whining. I wish I'd never bought her that vineyard – Roger Swift
Gay people are very bad at maths. We don't naturally multiply – Lou Wall
Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher – Sophie Duker
Growing up rich is a hereditary condition. It affects 1 per cent of people – Olga Koch.
