Jokes

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Next year's Edinburgh Festival is going to include an act celebrating hairdressing.

It will be a fringe event.

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The sharp-shooter at the local circus has just been sacked after he missed the apple and put his bullet through the hair of his helper.

It was his parting shot.

[Lori]

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Why is nothing just whelming?

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Richard Branson is planning to launch a new airline for bald people.

It will be called Receding Airlines.

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I am utterly fed up with people ridiculing EVs - they don't know what they are talking about.

I have two, top of the range, EVs - a Jaguar and a Porsche.

Their acceleration and handling is fantastic. They look brilliant and they are cheap to run. They need minimal maintenance and haven't depreciated since I bought them.

The only criticism I could make of them is sometimes, if I throw them too hard into a corner, they fly off the track and get stuck under the sofa.

[niemeyjt]

My dentist has just had a make over of their surgery from one of those modern designers.

I hope my proctologist uses someone different.

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[niemeyjt]

Someone broke into the house last night - I could hear them scrunching up all the Christmas wrapping paper downstairs.

Police said they were rustlers.