Jokes

[niemeyjt]

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

[niemeyjt]

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

[niemeyjt]

CERN have put rum and pineapples in the particle accelerator and come up with a pina collider.

[niemeyjt]

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

[niemeyjt]

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[niemeyjt]

The engineering graduate asks: "How can we build this?"

The physics graduate asks: "How does it work?"

The economics graduate asks: "What are the socioeconomic implications?"

The arts graduate asks: "Would you like fries with that?"

[niemeyjt]

I just bought some Viagra teabags.

They do nothing for the sex life, but it stops my ginger nuts going soft.

[niemeyjt]

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

[Sparkle]

@niemeyjt I too had been wondering where you'd gone and now I've caught up instead of thanking you one by one for all your latest jokes I'm thanking you on this post now !

[Biloute]

5 surgeons are discussing who the best patients are in the operating room...
The 1st says:
- I like operating on accountants because, when you open the body, all the organs are numbered and sorted in ascending order. It's very easy !
The 2nd answers:
- Yes, but I prefer to have an electrician on my table because in his body everything is sorted by color
The 3rd answers:
- The best are librarians because in their body everything is sorted in alphabetical order
The 4th says:
- You know, there's nothing better than mechanics because they already arrive with the spare parts.
The 5th finally says:
- Sorry to contradict you, dear colleagues, but the best to operate on are politicians. They have no heart, no guts, no balls. Plus, you can reverse their brains and their assholes and no one will notice !