Grab a chair, kick off your shoes, chill and chat.
Jokes
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L Austin France
- Posts: 2107
- Joined: Sat Sep 04, 2021 1:47 pm
- Location: sw 29
Re: Jokes
A man is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs.
The man says aloud, ''Wow, I wonder what happened to this parrot?''
The parrot says, ''I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.''
''Bloody Hell,'' the man replies, ''You actually understood and answered me!''
''I got every word,'' says the parrot, ''I happen to be a highly intelligent and a thoroughly educated bird.''
''Oh yeah?'' asks the man, ''Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?''
''Well,'' the parrot says, ''this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my dick around this wooden bar, like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.''
''Wow,'' says the man.
''You really can understand and can speak English, can't you?''
''Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic; politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.''
The guy looks at the £200 price tag.
''Sorry, but I just can't afford that.''
''Pssssssst,'' says the parrot, ''I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, 'cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for £20, just make him an offer!''
The man offers £20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by.
The parrot is sensational.
He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathises and he's insightful.
The man is delighted.
One day he comes home from work and the parrot goes, ''Psssssssssssst,'' and motions him over with one wing.
''I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the milkman.''
''What are you talking about?'' he asks.
''When the milkman delivered the milk today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.''
''WHAT?'' he asks incredulously, ''Then what happened?''
''Well, then the milkman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,'' reported the parrot.
''NO!'' he exclaims, ''and she let him?''
''Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over.''
Then the frantic man demands, ''THEN WHAT HAPPENED?''
''DUNNO. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!''
It doesn't have any feet or legs.
The man says aloud, ''Wow, I wonder what happened to this parrot?''
The parrot says, ''I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.''
''Bloody Hell,'' the man replies, ''You actually understood and answered me!''
''I got every word,'' says the parrot, ''I happen to be a highly intelligent and a thoroughly educated bird.''
''Oh yeah?'' asks the man, ''Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?''
''Well,'' the parrot says, ''this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my dick around this wooden bar, like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.''
''Wow,'' says the man.
''You really can understand and can speak English, can't you?''
''Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic; politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.''
The guy looks at the £200 price tag.
''Sorry, but I just can't afford that.''
''Pssssssst,'' says the parrot, ''I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, 'cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for £20, just make him an offer!''
The man offers £20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by.
The parrot is sensational.
He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathises and he's insightful.
The man is delighted.
One day he comes home from work and the parrot goes, ''Psssssssssssst,'' and motions him over with one wing.
''I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the milkman.''
''What are you talking about?'' he asks.
''When the milkman delivered the milk today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.''
''WHAT?'' he asks incredulously, ''Then what happened?''
''Well, then the milkman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,'' reported the parrot.
''NO!'' he exclaims, ''and she let him?''
''Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over.''
Then the frantic man demands, ''THEN WHAT HAPPENED?''
''DUNNO. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!''