Jokes

:speech_balloon: Grab a chair, kick off your shoes, chill and chat.
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niemeyjt
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Re: Jokes

#51 Post by niemeyjt »

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mysty
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Re: Jokes

#52 Post by mysty »

Taken from FB

A pensioner drove his brand new BMW to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 155, ... Suddenly he thought,
"I'm too old for this nonsense !"
So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said,
"Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before, why you were speeding... I'll let you go."
The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :-
"Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!
The Cop left saying,
" Have a good day, Sir "...
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Char
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Re: Jokes

#53 Post by Char »

What did the tin man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

"Curses foil again!"
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niemeyjt
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Re: Jokes

#54 Post by niemeyjt »

OH asked me to buy a new broom at the brico yesterday. It was a mistake to ask if the last one was written off in a crash landing.
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niemeyjt
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Re: Jokes

#55 Post by niemeyjt »

Worse, the mother-in-law is coming tomorrow for the week.

I have been warned by OH not to make comparisons between the Taliban and the mother-in-law.

I said "That's fair enough. The Taliban have changed their ways!!"
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Char
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Re: Jokes

#56 Post by Char »

:D What did number 0 say to number 8 ?


Nice belt you've got there.
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niemeyjt
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Re: Jokes

#57 Post by niemeyjt »

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Char
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Re: Jokes

#58 Post by Char »

:lol: :lol:
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Spardo

Re: Jokes

#59 Post by Spardo »

Oh dear J, I know that you have copied that from somewhere else, but the only excuse for 'license' would be if it was a direct American quote. But that isn't American, they never use the term HGV. :roll:

Funny though, just spoiled a bit by the current desire amongst some sections to use American words.

[mention]Char[/mention] Yes, certainly worthy of :lol: :lol: but also of a small :( ............ ;)
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niemeyjt
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Re: Jokes

#60 Post by niemeyjt »

Spardo wrote: ↑Mon Sep 13, 2021 9:08 am Oh dear J, I know that you have copied that from somewhere else, but the only excuse for 'license' would be if it was a direct American quote. But that isn't American, they never use the term HGV. :roll:

Funny though, just spoiled a bit by the current desire amongst some sections to use American words.

@Char Yes, certainly worthy of :lol: :lol: but also of a small :( ............ ;)
Quite - someone had US spell checker enabled - but I do not have time to edit it. Also, isn't it now LGV?
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