Help after losing a spouse.

[demi]

@Naylor's Ark I have sent you a pm.

[Pathca]

Jumping in but last year a close relative had partly that. We went to church and had the service then he went off to the crematorium with the vicar
Although it was made clear that’s what was happening some not that close friends did ask could they attend the crem. Some one subtly pointed out to them that if his wife , children , mother and siblings etc weren’t going then really they couldn’t expect to

[Hotrodder]

I attended a friend's funeral, as mentioned above. Service held at the nearest church and very few followed on the the crem. Those that did wished they hadn't. It was a grim place and not really set up to accommodate grieving friends and relatives. More of an industrial vibe.

[Bayleaf]

A little nugget of info. to pass on... After worrying about how to stop pension payments, the widower managed to speak to a human being today at the Pensions Office, 10 days after the death of his wife, and requested her state pension to be cancelled. Very friendly helpful chap apparently. All that was needed was the full name and NI number of the deceased. They'll send out a letter of confirmation shortly.

I expect the DWP employee was already pressing the "Stop Payment" button before the 'phone call ended! They don't need telling twice!

[niemeyjt]

Sadly, after 10 days and as payments are in advance, he may find the "letter of confirmation" includes a request for repayment.

As things are frozen and probate can take a while, often the bereaved have to pay this themselves (as I did).

[Bayleaf]

Sadly, after 10 days and as payments are in advance, he may find the "letter of confirmation" includes a request for repayment.

Most likely, but he'll just pay it straight back.

[Quiksilver]

I'm not sure that they're paid in advance any more. Mine certainly wasn't. I did have a request for repayment of some of my mother's pension, though, in 2017. Perhaps it's a recent change that's not been publicized?

[Polarengineer]

Thanks Bayleaf, that data should be added to the clog popping list if it is not already mentioned.

[MAD87]

I attended a friend's funeral, as mentioned above. Service held at the nearest church and very few followed on the the crem. Those that did wished they hadn't. It was a grim place and not really set up to accommodate grieving friends and relatives. More of an industrial vibe.

I once attended the Limoges crem - a more depressing place I couldn't imagine. I've told my children to stuff me in the ground in the cheapest coffin/packing case, with no ceremonies (especially not religious), just a post-stuffing party with music that Mad would like.

[niemeyjt]

Yes - Dad went there - awful place where coffin goes down rather than through curtains as I recall through we left it in place and filed out then they dealt with it once we were out.

Then in the car park you see the smoke coming out of the chimney, wondering if . . .