Jokes

[niemeyjt]

My favourite curry is a chicken tarka - it's like a chicken tikka but it's a little otter.

[Quiksilver]

Oh deary, deary me

[Bayleaf]

broomstick.jpg

[niemeyjt]

I asked my daughter to give me a phone book.

She just laughed at me and said I was just so last century and called me a boomer. She gave me her iPhone.

So now the fly is dead, the iPhone is broken and I am in trouble.

[niemeyjt]

And talking of Apple, they have just announced a breast implant that can store and play music and uses wireless technology. Prices are projected to be €499 to €699 dependent on cup size and storage capacity.

This is expected to be a major social breakthrough as until now women have always complained that men are looking at their breasts and not listening to them.

[Spardo]

@niemeyjt

This is expected to be a major social breakthrough as until now women have always complained that men are looking at their breasts and not listening to them

Not true, contrary to popular female belief, men are perfectly proficient at multi-tasking.

[curtis]

UN PRÊTRE, SENTANT SA MORT PROCHE, DANS UN HÔPITAL,

DEMANDE AU MÉDECIN D'APPELER UN BANQUIER ET UN POLITICIEN.

EN QUELQUES MINUTES, LES DEUX APPARURENT.

LE PRÊTRE LEUR DEMANDA DE S'ASSEOIR DE CHAQUE CÔTÉ DU LIT.

LE PRÊTRE LEUR TENAIT LES MAINS ET RESTAIT SILENCIEUX.

LE BANQUIER ET LE POLITICIEN ÉTAIENT TELLEMENT TOUCHÉS

ET EN MÊME TEMPS, SE SENTAIENT TRÈS IMPORTANTS

POUR ÊTRE CONVOQUÉS PAR UN PRÊTRE DANS SON MOMENT DE MORT.

PAR ANGOISSE, L'HOMME POLITIQUE DEMANDA :

« MAIS POURQUOI VOUS NOUS AVEZ DEMANDÉ DE VENIR À VOS CÔTÉS ICI..? »

LE PRÊTRE RASSEMBLA TOUTES SES FORCES ET DIT DANS UN SOUFFLE :

« JÉSUS EST MORT ENTRE DEUX VOLEURS. . .

JE VOUDRAIS MOURIR DE LA MÊME FAÇON.! »

[Yonner]

I think these jokes in French do more for my vocabulary than all the lessons I pay for

[Hotrodder]

I'm too lazy to copy and paste into a translater.

[niemeyjt]

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards. The steaks were high.