Jokes
Grab a chair, kick off your shoes, chill and chat.-
Quiksilver
- Posts: 1039
- Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2021 9:18 pm
- Location: 47
Jokes
A sign of the times...
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Quiksilver
- Posts: 1039
- Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2021 9:18 pm
- Location: 47
Jokes
The man who invented predictive text has sadly just died, his fanfare in next monkey, he leaves a whiff, two sins and a doughnut 
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L Austin France
- Posts: 2108
- Joined: Sat Sep 04, 2021 1:47 pm
- Location: sw 29
Jokes
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, 'cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for two hours. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."
She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please see the b*tch in the kitchen."
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, 'cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for two hours. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."
She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please see the b*tch in the kitchen."
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DominicBest
- Posts: 772
- Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2021 10:09 am
Jokes
That one reminds me if a story told to me by a colleague who had worked in a school near an army barracks. The school had an outbreak of swearing that seemed to have started in the reception class and after a bit of careful research the discovered the source. It turns out that one of the parents was an Army Colonel who regularly got his official driver to drop his son off at school in the morning. The driver who was not happy at being asked to carry out this chore would stop outside the the school, open the rear door and tell his passenger to, ‘feck off you little b*ugger!’ The child carried his newly learned vocabulary into the school where he shared it with his mates.