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:speech_balloon: Grab a chair, kick off your shoes, chill and chat.
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A.N.Other
Posts: 323
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2021 7:02 pm

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#1221 Post by A.N.Other »

A woman is sitting at the funeral of her late husband when a man leans over to her and says "Do you mind if I say a word?" "Not at all" she replies, and so the man stands up and says "plethora" and then sits back down.
She says to him "Thanks. That means a lot."
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Sparkle
Posts: 2015
Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2021 3:01 pm
Location: 53 Mayenne

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#1222 Post by Sparkle »

Q What do you call a french man who wears sandals?

A Philippe Philop

:lol: sorry that was told in our bar and had me stitches :lol:
With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.........The Corpse Bride
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niemeyjt
Posts: 4920
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm

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#1223 Post by niemeyjt »

I just received an e-mail telling me how to read maps backwards.

It was SPAM.
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niemeyjt
Posts: 4920
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm

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#1224 Post by niemeyjt »

Next week is diarrhoea awareness week.

Runs until next Friday.
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L Austin France
Posts: 2108
Joined: Sat Sep 04, 2021 1:47 pm
Location: sw 29

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#1225 Post by L Austin France »

Ethel was a hundred years old and he family was holding a party for her, everyone congratulated her and looked after her, she started to lean to one side and a granddaughter quickly sat her up straight, again she leaned over and was straightened up by another friend.
The local news man came to interview her, asked how she was enjoying the party.
She replied "It would be better if this miserable lot would let me lean over and fart,"
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A.N.Other
Posts: 323
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2021 7:02 pm

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#1226 Post by A.N.Other »

Pensioner resetting a password.

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50damnboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case
Character consecutively.
USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAss!
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER:
ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
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Hotrodder
Posts: 3260
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 8:31 pm
Location: Brittany 22

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#1227 Post by Hotrodder »

I have ended up using some similar passwords. So damned frustrating.
On my headstone it will say: Please switch off mobile phones. I'm trying to get some sleep.
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niemeyjt
Posts: 4920
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 6:34 pm

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#1228 Post by niemeyjt »

Thursday is World Password Day.

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: penis
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password is too short.

No - I am not using that one in my presentation on the day. But I am using another :-)
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A.N.Other
Posts: 323
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2021 7:02 pm

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#1229 Post by A.N.Other »

In the pub:

Me: What's the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Barman: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Ok. How much is that?
Barman: £3.
Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
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A.N.Other
Posts: 323
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2021 7:02 pm

Jokes

#1230 Post by A.N.Other »

niemeyjt wrote: ↑Mon May 01, 2023 7:50 pm Thursday is World Password Day.

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: penis
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password is too short.

No - I am not using that one in my presentation on the day. But I am using another :-)
Sorry but I'm not available :crazy:
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