Jokes

[ajm]

I went to visit Djokovic at his apartment. When I went in I saw the floor littered with dust and bits of rubbish. I said "why the mess?" He replied : why do you think i am called Novak?

[niemeyjt]

I got rid of my vacuum cleaner - it was only gathering dust.

(credit Tim Vine)

[niemeyjt]

Actually, before I got rid of it I was telling a mate of all the problems I'd been having with it after spending all that money.

He said "That sucks".

[niemeyjt]

My neighbour was caught for the fifth time shoplifting Kellogg's Cornflakes from the Co-op.

He's a cereal thief.

[niemeyjt]

with apologies to those who want F-i-F to be a footie-free zone . . .

Apparently David Blane is furious that his record of hanging around in a box doing nothing for 44 days has just been beaten by Harry Kane.

[A.N.Other]

A mate has a ticket for the England v Spain game on Sunday.

He paid £360 including flights but he didn't realise when he bought it months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding.

If anyone is interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

It's at Guildford Registry Office, at 3pm. The bride's name is Sarah, she's 5'7" and quite attractive.

[Polarengineer]

Do you have another A.N.Other?

[ajm]

A mate has a ticket for the England v Spain game on Sunday.

He paid £360 including flights but he didn't realise when he bought it months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding.

If anyone is interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

It's at Guildford Registry Office, at 3pm. The bride's name is Sarah, she's 5'7" and quite attractive.

Read niemeyjt"s posting of yesterday.

[niemeyjt]

Yes, but my mate paid more

[Polarengineer]

good point.