Another one bites the dust

[L Austin France]

Just come back from the church funeral of one of our boules club members.
I've lost count of the number I've attended in the 18 years we've lived here but the sameness seems to be indelibly imprinted in my mind.
One & a quarter hours of listening to scriching women chanting inaudibly though dodgy accoustics whilst sitting on benches obviously designed to ensure you're not there to enjoy yourself is enough to put most off ever attending another but, still we go, as it's necessary to be seen there.
No wonder most folk around here appear to approach old age sanguinlely.
It's probably because they know that one day soon there'll only be one more funeral to endure.

[Doug]

Agree church funerals are not for the faint hearted, have been to quite a number in my life.the last being the cremation of my wonderful pa- in- law back in march.
Having been to a number here in France we are surprised that the men mostly still wear T shirt and jeans or something else scruffy, same at weddings come to that, whilst all women are dressed up.
I'm the fourth of six and never thought that I'd get to being the oldest.
Not a church for me though it'll just be the fire as well.

[Spardo]

I appreciate the casual attitude to dress at weddings and funerals in France, I brought one tie and one suit with me from England. The suit has shrunk and the tie never been used.

Normally here most people wait outside the church, and in all but one case, I have taken my cue from them.

[niemeyjt]

The suit has shrunk and the tie never been used.

Funny - mine do that as well.

[Blaze]

Like others, we've been to a fair number of funerals here over the years, people from all walks of life. Universally most people wore black.
In most services, the priest would sing and the congregation respond, unaccompanied and the hymns were always dreary and unimaginative. But there's something very moving about the way everyone goes up to the coffin, waves water or touches it ...

[Spardo]

Like others, we've been to a fair number of funerals here over the years, people from all walks of life. Universally most people wore black.
In most services, the priest would sing and the congregation respond, unaccompanied and the hymns were always dreary and unimaginative. But there's something very moving about the way everyone goes up to the coffin, waves water or touches it ...

Perhaps it's a north south divide in the way people behave in France. We did make the effort at the one church wedding, and the one church funeral we attended, but were in the minority. As non Catholics, and indeed non-believers, we weren't sure about the way we should behave regarding the procession round the coffin and in the end stayed where we were in respectful silence. The wedding was the boss' son and the whole workforce was invited, but only us and one other driver and his wife attended the church, the rest filled the square and outside the church before forming up in a noisy convoy to the reception 5 kms away at an out of season holiday village.

[Bayleaf]

Thankfully, I have been to very few funerals and hope to keep it that way! Didn't even attend my Dad's funeral earlier this year, mostly due to travel restrictions. I did watch the church service via livelink. Has that facility come about as a result of Covid, or was it available before for long distance relatives/friends who couldn't attend?

A much preferred method of attending, without having to attend! It looked very hot that day, as people were fanning themselves with the service sheets. The vicar wisely said they can sing along to hymns if everyone wore masks - not easy, I'm sure. So, I was more than happy to sit in the comfort of my cool lounge, with a cup of tea by my side, learning more about my father during those epilogues than I ever knew during our lives together (he was a very distant father for most of my life).

[Blaze]

[mention]Spardo[/mention] French weddings are sometimes very different to UK ones : you may get an invitation to the reception only, the church only or to both, depending on your "closeness" with the family.

[Spardo]

@Spardo French weddings are sometimes very different to UK ones : you may get an invitation to the reception only, the church only or to both, depending on your "closeness" with the family.

Wow, do feel honoured then, had only been with the firm a few months at the time. But despite the fact that the Patron was always Monsieur et 'vous', he was very friendly from the start. His son, 2nd in command, the one who married was always Vincent, and 'tu'.

As soon as I retired, and often now when we meet of course, Monsieur became Paul, and 'tu'.

The only things I remember about the wedding in the church was surprise that the ceremony was not in Latin, and a beautiful trumpet solo from a young man brought (hired?) in for the occasion.

[MAD87]

We recently attended our first French obsèques (cremation in this case). It was short and colourless, unlike the deceased who'd lived here with his wife for longer than we have but never really integrated.
A huge contrast with the funeral of a cousin in Dublin - 3-day wake with open coffin, food and drink for a small country and a funeral mass I'll never forget, despite being an atheist. And then lunch.